Stephon "Stellaseppellire" Marbury

By Austin Amoroso

So Stephon Marbury wants to take his game over to Italy after his contract with the Knicks expires in two years. I wouldn’t expect it any other way from the oft-traveling point guard.

“It’s like a Beckham thing,” Marbury said.

Yes, a Beckham thing. Because the sport of basketball in Italy is due to flourish once it is graced with the presence of the Starbury. Right?

Well, it’s obviously clear he’s conquered New York. There couldn’t possibly be anything left for the Coney Island native to prove here, not after racking up a 114-179 record in his three and a half years in a Knicks uniform.

It’s the same way he conquered Minnesota. And New Jersey. And Phoenix. See, Marbury’s definition of conquering is, ‘making better’. And he’s done just that for every team he’s played on. Teams just get better and he moves on. Or wait, maybe it’s the other way around. Yeah, that’s it, he moves on and then teams get better. The numbers don’t lie.

His last season in Minnesota: 25-25
The next season for the Wolves: 50-32
His last season in New Jersey: 26-56
The next season for the Nets: 53-30
His last season in Phoenix: 29-53
The next season for the Suns: 62-20

I guess you can’t put all the blame on Marbury for all the records in his last season on a team. He did, afterall, only play about half the season when he was traded both by Minnesota and Phoenix. Odd theme, though, isn’t it? He leaves, team gets better. He arrives, team is worse.

But therein lies the good news for Knicks fans. In just two short years, it’ll be nothing but wins and playoff appearances for the Knickerbockers.

And, hey, that lucky Italian team that Starbury graces with his presence... Well, they will ultimately have the pleasure of sending him packing. And then that team can look forward to some success. Finally.